The teenage years are often characterized by a rollercoaster of emotions, rapid mood swings, and seemingly irrational behavior, brought on by teen cognitive changes.

While these experiences can be frustrating for parents and educators, it’s crucial to remember that the teenage brain is undergoing significant changes that heavily influence their emotions and decision making.

As adults, this is a time in their life when we can provide a stable scaffold of support as they develop the person they’ll become in adulthood.

During human adolescence (as wide a range as ages 10-24), the brain is developing rapidly, specifically in the areas associated with emotional regulation, impulse control, and decision-making.

As outlined by the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH), the area that governs higher-order cognitive functions, the prefrontal cortex, is still in the process of maturation well into our 20s.

Instead, teenagers must rely more on the amygdala, the brain’s emotional center, which leaves them with greater emotional reactivity and a tendency to respond impulsively to situations until that maturation is complete.

While these pathways and areas of the brain develop, new hormones constantly flood the brain, leading to the mood swings that have been so widely associated with the teenage years.

It’s important for the adults in their lives to underline just how normal and necessary these changes are for healthy development, as challenging as that may be for both teenagers and those who care about them.

Feeling seen and not alone can be the difference between staying on track and veering off course. Having several solid adult-child relationships will support and provide the basis for the sense of self that emerges in adolescence and is reified in young adulthood.

Given the unique challenges of the teenage brain, parents, educators, and mentors can provide support and guidance to help teenagers develop the skills to regulate their intense emotions and coping mechanisms to bring them back to homeostasis. Here are some strategies to consider:

1. Validating their feelings: It’s important for teenagers to feel heard and understood, even when their reactions and behaviors seem disproportionate or irrational. Avoid dismissing their feelings or offering unsolicited advice. Instead, actively listen and validate their experience.

As the UCLA Center for the Developing Adolescent explains, this validation can help them feel less alone and more capable of managing their emotions.

2. Encouraging open communication: Teenagers need a safe space in which they can speak openly and be vulnerable. As a parent or adult in their life, ask open-ended questions, engage in active listening, and avoid judgment.

Maintaining a regular dialogue about emotions normalizes the experience and helps teenagers develop self-awareness so that they can build that openness into their adult life.

3. Teaching coping skills: In the face of the fast-fluctuating emotional contours of their lives, teenagers require a full set of healthy coping mechanisms, such as mindfulness and meditation techniques, journaling, and/or engaging in physical activity.

Implementing certain strategies in your family’s daily routine can spark their interest and inspire them to do it on their own. Every teenager is different, and the adults in their life can help model and guide them to these strategies. 

4. Modeling healthy emotional expression: Teenagers learn by observing the adults around them. Do your best to curb your own emotional reactions, demonstrating healthy ways of managing stress and conflict instead.

Show them that it’s okay to feel a range of emotions and that there are constructive ways to express them. No one is perfect, so if you happen to make a mistake and showcase a big emotion, let your teenager know exactly what went wrong and how you’ll approach it next time. This is a learning experience for both the parent and the teenager. 

5. Fostering healthy relationships: Encourage teenagers to cultivate supportive relationships with friends, family, and mentors. Strong social connections can provide a sense of belonging, security, and support during challenging times.

Extracurricular activities, clubs, or sports teams can be the glue that keeps the child connected to a sense of community. 

6. Promoting self-care: Exercise, sleep, and nutrition are crucial to everyone’s wellbeing, but even more so for teenagers. Encourage them to establish healthy routines and make self-care activities a high priority, such as, spending time in nature, or taking time to engage in hobbies they enjoy.

An easy way to make sure healthy habits are created is to try and make it a bonding experience between parent and teenager. It could be helpful to do activities together such as taking a walk in the park or collaborating on a healthy meal plan. 

As every child navigates through the milestones of adolescence, they’ll experience moments of intense emotion. With the help of attentive, responsible adults and mentors, the accompanying growth, exploration, and self-discovery will guide them through to their next phase of life.

Parents and educators can empower teenagers to develop healthy emotional regulation skills and thrive during this critical period of development by understanding the unique changes occurring in their brains.

If a teenager in your life appears to be struggling, it is also important to know when to seek counsel.

The following organizations provide excellent resources for anyone dealing with the difficulties of teenage life:

• The Child Mind Institute

• The Jed Foundation

• National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI)

By working together, parents, guardians, caregivers, and educators can create a supportive environment where teenagers feel safe to express their emotions, learn healthy coping skills, and develop into resilient and well-adjusted adults.

About the Lincoln Center

The Lincoln Center for Family and Youth (TLC) is a social enterprise company serving the Greater Philadelphia Area.

 Among its five divisions, TLC offers School-based Staffing Solutions, Mobile Coaching and Counseling, and Heather’s Hope: A Center for Victims of Crime.

These major programs are united under TLC’s mission to promote positive choices and cultivate meaningful connections through education, counseling, coaching, and consulting.