Dear Dave,

Our son is 27, and he has a good job making $55,000 a year. Recently, we learned he financed an expensive car he’s now upside down on. In addition, he has accumulated over $15,000 in credit card debt. He lives in a small town, and only pays $650 a month in rent, but he is asking for money. We taught him about living on a budget and staying out of debt when he was younger, and now it seems he didn’t listen very well. How do you think we should handle this situation?

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Bryce

Dear Bryce,

The first thing I’d advise telling him is that you and his mom aren’t going to whip out the checkbook, and make his problems disappear. That may sound harsh, but he had a really good thing going until he messed it up by acting impulsively and irresponsibly with his finances. Nope, I wouldn’t take care of it for him—not at his age. This young man needs to have some skin in the game.

I’d tell him to sell the fancy car, and get something waycheaper to drive for a while. I’m talking about a little beater in the $2,000 to $3,000 range. It sounds like he’ll have to get a small loan to cover the difference, but a little car debt is better than a lot of car debt. I’d also advise him to pick up a part-time job nights or weekends until he gets that credit card debt paid off.

In other words, let him wallow in it and worry about things for a while. Then, if he’s willing to accept responsibility for his actions, and starts handling money more wisely, you two might help out every so often with a little extra cash on the payments.

But I’d test his resolve first. And I’d want to see proof he has learned from his mistakes!

—Dave

* Dave Ramsey is CEO of Ramsey Solutions. He has authored seven best-selling books, including The Total Money Makeover. The Dave Ramsey Show is heard by more than 16 million listeners each week on 600 radio stations and multiple digital platforms. Follow Dave on the web at daveramsey.comand on Twitter at @DaveRamsey.

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